My Plan to Give You Money

Could you use an extra $1,200 a year? Sure, we all could. Well, I have a plan …

The plan is this: I will come around to your door once a month and you will fork over a thousand dollars to me. You will do this completely of your own free will, of course. Pay no attention to the gun-toting men accompanying me.

Be assured that I will only spend the money for good things, too. You can trust me on that.

Anyway, after I’ve done this for a few years I will institute a really cool reform to my system of collecting “contributions” from you. Instead of making you cough up a thousand bucks on each visit, I will start taking only 900 simoleons from you. (I’ll make up the shortfall from your neighbors, or perhaps just put it on a credit card I open your name.)

As you can plainly see, this means I will be giving you $100 a month — or $1,200 a year. I’m sure you will feel moved to thank me for my generous gift!

What’s that you say? This isn’t actually giving you anything? It’s really just me robbing you of a bit less every month?

Well, you’re wrong. It’s like taxes. Every time someone proposes cutting tax rates even a teensy bit, the talking heads and financial “experts” rush in front of the cameras to screech about how it’s a giveaway to one group or another (usually, the hated rich).

See? When you take money from people continuously over a period of time, and then you start taking a little bit less, you’re actually giving them money.

The same logic the smart people on TV and in the political corridors use when discussing taxes and tax cuts applies exactly the same to my plan.

Now, how will you spend that extra $1,200 I’m going to give you?